I know, I know, I know. I haven't updated in a week. I have been pretty "blah", to say the least. I am not going to get into all that. It is simply feminine issues, and I am sure no one wants to know details. Therefore, I will spare you.
That wasn't the only issue, however. I am still playing Mommy and Daddy. I am not sure why this month is such a problem for me. I thought I had pretty much mastered playing both roles, considering the two 12-month deployments, as well as simply living in different states for a while. But, for whatever reason, this month has been quite a bit harder for me to find my patience and routine. We are just over a week into yet another separation... (maybe I shouldn't use that word. There are too many stipulations on that word. We are not separated as in divorcing, just to be clear. Separation as in more Army training that can't be done where we are at this time. Meaning, he is off at classes to further his career, and the boys and I are here holding down the house until he gets back.) ...and I feel like I nearly lost my mind last week. I barely got to talk to Hubby, as he has been busy training. The boys all push me as far as they can as soon as Daddy leaves (happens every time). I was just feeling overwhelmed. But things are finally starting to calm down, and I am adjusting. I think, honestly, that I have gotten too comfy with him here. Isn't that a strange thing to say? Even typing it didn't feel right. But, it is a true statement. I became too dependent on my husband. As an Army wife, that is the wrong thing to do. On top of all that, I QUIT SMOKING!!! I know, yay for me! But, it hasn't helped with my positivity over the last week. I am now about 5 days without a cigarette, so I would say I am past the worst of it. My nerves were absolutely shot during the first few days, though, and having all the boys home for 3 days this weekend during everything else... I just wanted to hide in my room, under my blankets, and not come out until everything was quiet. Knowing that was going to happen, unfortunately, the boys caught the brunt of my "transition", we'll call it. We have all made it through.... relatively unharmed.
On a much happier note, everything was approved, and SCHOOL STARTS OCT 19th!!!! I am so excited! I am a little nervous and anxious, though, as well. I mean, I have been out of school for 11 years! Now, I have to jump right back in and get an Associate degree in half the time it usually takes. Wow. The Queen song "Under Pressure" just started playing in my head. Ha! No worries. I am determined. After all, I will be 30 years old next year.... I would say it is time for this Mommy to grow up!
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