HELP....Please??
08 February 2012
As my readers know, I have three boys. Normally, I write my blogs just to show family and friends how they/we are doing. However, in this particular post, I am asking for help from anyone that is willing to give me some advice.
Our youngest, Alex, has such a great personality. He is 2 years old and makes me laugh every day just being silly and full of life. He is a great kid, but he has had some medical issues. When he was just a few months old, he had an x-ray done of his chest, in which he was eventually diagnosed with the later stages of RSV. Being so small, he was put into a tube-like device to keep his chest straight for the x-ray. Ever since then, he, for lack of a better phrase, freaks out when he sees a doctor or room with a doctor's office-like table. His legs are more crooked than normal toddlers, so the doctor requested we get x-rays done so the radiologist could measure the angle of his legs and see if they are within the normal range. It was impossible to get him to lay down calmly on the table. So, the tech had him stand up. The entire time Alex was screaming and petrified. They took about 5 x-rays before they finally got one that was "good enough".
Alex is still not talking very much. He only says maybe 10 words, which makes him behind. We have him in speech therapy, and he is doing a lot better with it, using sign language to help communicate what he wants/needs. To be sure that he is just being "lazy" with his talking as opposed to having something medically wrong with him, we have appointments set up with an audiologist, to check his hearing, and a speech pathologist, to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with him (tongue-tied, etc.).
Having all these appointments and anticipating how Alex is going to react to them, I need help in figuring out ways to calm him down. I have told him everything is okay, held him while he cries, and, generally, just consoled him in any way possible. I don't know what else to do, but he is obviously going to be seeing the doctors a lot more often than he wants to. Any suggestions at all you can give will be tried and more than appreciated.
Thank you in advance!
6 comments:
I'm not sure that him having an xray at a young age would have led him to have a "fear" of doctors, etc... I in all honesty think it is normal for a child to act as Alex has, not wanting to be away from Mama at a strange place with strange people in a strange setting. I am hoping there isn't anything medically wrong with Alex and that he's just taking his sweet ol' time to do things. I know as a mother it's hard not to worry, etc. Maybe Alex can't get a word in edge with with all you talkers, LOL But in all seriousness, you are doing the right thing and getting tests done to at at least rule stuff out. As far as helping him not to freak out, not sure about that. I would say take something to keep him occupied whatever that may be, a toy, a safety sucker, something he wouldn't normally get, something special, etc... I wish I had the answers for you. You are strong and they will figure something out. Love and miss you guys!! :-) Princess
Normal to be afraid, yes. But he acts like he is being tortured when the doctor even simply tries to look in his ears or mouth. Just walking into the room scares him. I am going to try the "something special" idea. I am at my wit's end, and I hate that he is so afraid! :(
Jessica, a friend of mine led me to your blog, she knows that our second oldest has had many tests, procedures, surgeries, etc... done so she thought i may have some suggestions. And i do! Let me first assure you that the X-ray thing that they put them in as infants and toddlers is horrible. more then one of our kids has had to have it done and i felt awful as i am sure you did as well. Sound to me like your little guy has what our Dr. kindly refers to as "white coat syndrome" it means that he has had a less than pleasant experiance in a medical environment and he associates that with all medical things. A Dr's white coat, a woman in scrubs, X-ray machine, anything. Our little guy had this too. It is actually fairly common in children who have had testing at a young age. Here are some thing that we did to try and make the testing a little bit easier. 1. we went to build-a-bear(but really you could just go to any store and pick a stuffed animal, build-a-bear just makes it a little more special because they actually get to make it) Let him pick out what he wants and then let that be his bear that he takes to ANY medical testing, offices, anything. Explain to him how that is his special bear and he can help him to not be afraid. 2. If at all possible, prepare him beforehand for what will be happening. We have found that using the bear as an example has really helped our little guy. show him on the bear that he will have an Xray, get a shot, anything. even if you don't know ahead of time and the Dr. says today we are going to do this then you tell the Dr. "ok, we are going to tell him everything that will happen and explain how it will feel, what sound he will hear, what smells he may smell, who will be with him, EVERY detail is important." Most Dr.s are VERY good with this and will wait while you explain or will try to help explain. Some kids just do better with all of the details. AND... BE HONEST. If it is gonna hurt a little bit, tell him so. because if you say it isn't going to hurt, and it does, he wont believe you next time. I mean honestly medical testing is scary for most adults let alone a little guy. 3. Push the dr.s to allow you to be in the room if at all possible(unless he does better without you in there, some kids will react fine with an X ray tech but freak out if mom is in there) our little guy always wants you to be with him though. There aren't many tests that the Dr. can tell you NO you can't be in the room, trust me, our little guy had almost every test on the planet done and i was right there for all of it.
As far as the extra testing for the speech, i totally think that is the right thing. Our little guy is in speech therapy and has had a lot of that testing done and it has helped a lot to either eliminate of identify the causes of his speech issues.
I haven't read any other blog but this one to know what health issues your little guy has but our little guy has Sensory Processing Disorder which causes a lot of his fear and timidness about things that he doesn't understand because it is so hard for him to process a lot of activity around him, so when he is put into a new and different situation with little to no warning he freaks outs because he can't process it.
Trust me when i say i know exactly what you are feeling and going through. It is no fun to see your child so absolutely petrified. I hope this can help you a little, and you will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.
Kelli Pruitt
Kelli, first of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to this. It is an issue that I have tried handling on my own but, clearly, to no avail.
What you described your little guy going through sounds remarkably exact to what Alex deals with. It isn't just the doctor's coat. We are military. Therefore, the doctors are sometimes just wearing their uniforms, which my husband wears on a daily basis, and, because of that, Alex is not afraid. But, when it comes to the room, regardless of how "friendly" a room it is, or how friendly the doctor/nurses are, he cries and tightens up and fights. I have never left him alone with a doctor. They have always been great about allowing me to stay with him. I honestly think it would be worse if I did leave.
I think the bear or another item would be a great idea. I haven't yet tried to explain things to him due to his age, but maybe it would help. I did notice a little improvement with his most recent well-baby appointment and the nurse. She walked us back to the room, and Alex was already losing it. (He knows that down "that" hall are the rooms, etc.) After showing us to the room, she went and got a toy for him. He was a little, and I can't stress the word "little" enough, more interactive with her while she was entering in the information, even wanting her to play with the toy with him. However, when he had to lay down to get measured or stand on the scale to get weighed, all progress went out the proverbial window.
I have never discussed in any other blog a diagnosis because he has never been diagnosed with anything. He is on a nebulizer but isn't asthmatic. He has crooked legs but hasn't yet been diagnosed with any issues. In turn, he freaks out when visiting the doctor but is just "throwing a fit". And, I too just assumed he was throwing a fit. Whether he has SPD or "white coat syndrome" or not, I have no idea, but reading what you wrote has really got me thinking. It really seems to me that the doctors he has had to this point just rush through to get us out, so the "fit throwing" has always seemed to be just that.
You have given me so many ideas to help him get through these appointments, and, again, I can't thank you enough for taking time out for a stranger.
Best wishes to you and yours!
So glad that any little thing can help. We went through 11 months of intense testing before they found our sons brain malformation and did surgery, that is why he had so much testing done. So i know feeling of thinking that they are just throwing a fit, when to them it is a real ligit fear that they have. We seriously couldn't even walk through the grocery store and see a nurse in her scrubs without him trying to climb up on top of your head! It was bad. I agree that way too many Dr's just want an in and out appointment and they are not very kid friendly when they are that way. Also another thing you made me think of. If he gets upset when he has to put the toy down. Suggest to the nurse that she go ahead and weigh him with the toy, then weigh you without the toy and with the toy, the difference in your 2 weights will tell her the weight of the toy and she can subtract it from his weight, but honestly a bear doesn't weigh that much, most of the time they will weigh them with the bear and not worry about it!! I will def be checking back to see how some of your appointments go. Hopefully it will go well.
Kelli
Wow! He isn't so bad to be afraid of seeing them. He will see the nurses and doctors in and out of that hallway while in the waiting room, and he is fine. When they call his name, all bets are off. He's done. She let me hold him and weighed us both; then weighed me alone to get his weight. As for the measurement, I have to hold him down and feel like I am torturing him too. I hate it. I am definitely going to try some of the ideas you have given me! Feel free to follow me to see the updates down the road.
Thank you, again, even for just chatting with me. I actually feel much calmer about things, and you have given me hope that things will be better!
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